A man’s home is his castle, until a significant other takes over. Once that happens, a man cave will have to do. In my case, I can’t even hang on to one of those. Thanks to my wife, Josie, I rarely have any place I can hide out from the world.
When I’m staying with my children in the United States, I obviously can’t have any place private. When I’m at my house in the Philippines, which is the largest house in our compound, I should be able to find at least one place, right?
What Is a Man Cave Anyway?
Well, the Wikipedia page for it describes it thus:
A man cave or manspace, and less commonly a manland or mantuary is a male retreat or sanctuary in a home, such as a specially equipped garage, spare bedroom, media room, den, or basement. The term “man cave” is a metaphor describing a room inside the house such as the basement or garage or attic or office, or outside the house such as a wood shed or tool room where “guys can do as they please”, without fear of upsetting any female sensibility about house decor or design.
Yep, that about sums it up. I don’t have a garage, a media room, a den, a basement, a shed or a toolroom. The only thing in that description that exists is a spare bedroom. At the moment, I actually have two spare bedrooms.
My Current Hangout
There was a time when I had an outdoor man cave, which I shared only with an electric water heater. It’s a three-quarter-enclosed area under the carport. The carport and the road are even with the second story of the house.
It was a great outdoor space until Josie decided to repurpose it for evening activities. The children in my compound used to hang out there when it wasn’t occupied. They all usurped my throne. I seriously doubt I’ll ever be able to reclaim that space.
The master bedroom is almost a man cave. I spend far more time in it than anywhere else. Josie sleeps in the bed and bathes in the master bath, but she spends most of her waking hours elsewhere. It’s the only room I can claim as my own, most of the time. So… my current man cave isn’t really that at all.
A Potential Man Cave?
As much as I would like to convert one of the spare bedrooms into a man cave, it isn’t ever going to happen. Josie will let someone else move into it before she’ll ever let me get away with it. As the man of the house, I should be able to put my foot down, right? Only if I want to live in the doghouse for the rest of my life. And then I’ll have to build that too.
All I really need is a place to hang out, where I can write and program and listen to music without being interrupted. A place where no one but me and those I invite (all men, of course) are allowed. A place where I can drink if I want to, watch movies if I want to, and do just about anything else I want to do.
It’s not misogynistic to want privacy, away from the females of our species, unless it’s all the time.
A Cousin With a Man Cave
When Josie and I were staying with our older son and his family in Maryland, we visited one of her cousins, Sean, and his family. He had a very nice house with a finished basement, with one corner as his man cave, and it had everything a solitary man could ever want.
He had a big screen TV, a small refrigerator (and plenty of beer), and the bathroom he built into the basement. I’m super jealous. Oh well, perhaps some things were never meant to be.
Image by Yasuhiko Ito from Sendai, Japan, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons